Jeremy Clarkson
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From The Sunday Times
August 10, 2008
Rolls-Royce Phantom Coupé
Recently, I wrote in another part of the paper about the difficulties of trying to work while staying for the summer at your bolthole in the country. There are too many distractions, the view is too consuming, the children too needy and the constant longing for a beer too overwhelming.
Well, soon all the problems will be erased because a government think tank has looked carefully at the question of second homes and has announced that the rich bastards who have them should be forced to rent them out to underachieving, fat people.
Hmmm. I wonder. Did it deliver its findings to Gordon Brown at No 10, or to his second home in Buckinghamshire? And how does it think such a scheme could possibly work?
Many people, for instance, claim they live in Monaco for tax reasons. Whereas in fact, all they do is buy a small flat and employ an estate agent to pop in every morning to make a few phone calls. The bills are then used as proof that they were there.
Second-home owners would adopt similar tactics here. Or they’d say their country cottage is their primary residence and that their apartment in London is a pied-à-terre. Then, the local council would have to prove otherwise by going through everyone’s knicker drawer and employing men with binoculars and coffee breath to follow us about.
I fear the government think tank hasn’t considered any of this because it was so consumed with bitterness, hatred and envy for people with money. It is not alone.
Just the other day, I read a report that said musicals in London’s West End are bucking the trend with higher than ever audiences. This, you might think if you were a normal, well balanced soul, is a good thing. But sadly the red top reporter was not. He was just bothered that bigger audiences meant Andrew Lloyd Webber would have even more money. And that made him incandescent with fury.
Why? It’s not like Andrew Lloyd Webber spends his evenings being carried around council estates in Slough in a sedan chair, waving his jewels out of the window. He just gets on with his life in a way that has no effect whatsoever on the way you live yours or I live mine.
It’s like being kept awake at night with a burning sense of envy about Cliff Richard’s youthful good looks. What should we do? Take a Black & Decker sander to his cheekbones? Why? Because disfiguring Cliff’s face won’t make any difference to your own.
I don’t yearn for many aspects of the American way but they do seem to have this dreadful bitterness under control. When they see a man pass by in a limousine, they say: “One day, I’ll have one of those.” When we see a man pass by in a limo, we say: “One day, I’ll have him out of that.”
All this past week, I’ve been driving around in a Rolls-Royce coupé and it’s been a genuinely alarming insight into the bitterness of Britain’s obese and stupid underclass. Because when you drive this enormous monster past a bus queue, you realise that hate is not an emotion. It’s something you can touch, and see and smell.
Just yesterday, a man in a beaten-up van deliberately straddled two lanes to make sure I could not get past. It would have made no difference at all to his life if I’d done so, but there was no way in hell he was going to let a Roller by. I find that shoulder-saggingly depressing.
I also find it wearisome that I must now go on to say what the car is like. Because I know this article will appear on the website, where readers will be invited to have their say. And some will wonder why, once again, I'm reviewing a car that so few people can afford.
Well, yes, I could tell you all about Hyundai’s new supermini, which, let’s say, 5% of the country could buy. But what’s the point because the other 95% aren’t interested.
Perhaps 0.01% can afford a Rolls but a huge number of those that can’t are still interested in knowing what it’s like. Because contrary to the teachings of Britain’s think tanks, there’s no harm in dreaming . . .
The Rolls-Royce Phantom has been a success story. More than a thousand have been sold already and, much to the surprise of everyone, a great many are actually driven by their owners. The Maybach is for chauffeurs. It feels all wrong in the front. But when you’re in the back of a Rolls, you spend most of your time dreaming up reasons for firing the man in the peaked cap and taking the wheel yourself.
It is an epic car, quite unlike anything else in the world. Because every single atom of every single component is designed only to make your life as quiet and as comfortable as possible. There is no sportiness in the mix whatsoever.
I imagined that the coupé would continue to amble down the same road. But no. BMW, which owns Rolls, says it’s aimed more at “the driver”. And because of this, it is the first Rolls-Royce ever to be fitted with a sport button. That’s like putting Prince Philip in training shoes. Pointless. Just leave it alone. I did.
There are some other issues as well. You cannot see much out of the tiny rear window, the backward-opening suicide doors are a nuisance in tight spaces, and the interior is polished so vigorously that everything reflects everything else. You spend half your time being startled by shadows. And when the sun is low in the sky it bounces off the dash in a glare so vivid it can detach your retinas.
Then there’s the sat nav, which comes from BMW. It’s hard to fathom, is devoid of any useful information and powered by a program that’s part fiction, part comedy. Oh and when you want to tighten the scale when approaching a complicated junction the whole screen goes blank until you’re on the other side, going the wrong way.
Worst of all, though, are the seats. They are too hard, there is no side support at all and after one four-hour drive, I had backache. “Good,” you might be thinking, if you are in a government think tank. “That means the rich bastard won’t mind when we force him to rent his stupid car to a fat woman in the north.”
Ah, but you see, in a Rolls all of these faults are lost in a sea of unparalleled joy.
Providing you leave that sport button alone, it will sashay down a motorway in such a way that there’s no need to worry about whether it is better to arrive or to travel hopefully. It doesn’t feel like you’re doing either. It’s like you’re in a big kapok ball.
Mind you, it is still pretty fast. Its performance figures are nearly as good as those of a Maserati GT. And it would be faster still if the slushmatic box didn’t take a full second to make sure each gearchange is as smooth as possible.
It’s equally relaxing in town. While everyone else frets, the only thing you need worry about in the Rolls is keeping your eyes open. Speed bumps? Bah. Take them as fast as you like.
It must have half killed BMW to make a car this way because it, like every other manufacturer in the world, always puts a bit of hardness into its products. This means they are compromised everywhere just so they can take Stowe Corner at Silverstone without falling over.
Because the Rolls cannot take Stowe Corner very well, it is sublime in the real world. The big 6.75 litre V12 blows up its fuel in such a way you don’t know its happening. It’s like being moved around by a muscle. The suspension feels like six miles of silk and everything you touch inside the car feels like it was made over a period of several years by a man from the 19th century in a brown store coat. Let me put it this way. The trim alone weighs more than an entire Triumph Herald.
Complaining, then, about poor rear visibility is like Arthur Negus complaining that one of the doors on a Georgian tallboy is a bit sticky. It’s part of the price you pay for something that feels, looks and is genuinely beautiful.
So there we are. If you are the sort of chap who likes to drive his own Rolls, there’s no point dragging around the six acres of empty shag-piled splendour you get in a Phantom saloon. Yes, the coupé is £27,000 more expensive but it is easier to park. And it does come with a Range Rover-style drop-down boot lid you can sit on when having a picnic.
The only proper drawback is the loathing from other road users. But you know what. That’s their problem, because style and comfort are not deadly sins. Envy, on the other hand . . .
THE CLARKSOMETER
Rolls-Royce Phantom Coupé
ENGINE 6749cc, V12
POWER 453bhp @ 5350rpm
TORQUE 531 lb ft @ 3500rpm
TRANSMISSION Six-speed auto
FUEL 18mpg (combined cycle)
CO 2377g/km
ACCELERATION 0-60mph: 5.6sec
TOP SPEED 155mph
PRICE £296,500
ROAD TAX BAND G (£400 for 12 months)
Jeremy's comments often make sense, but I'm a little sad that he's claimed the "Roller", as the average British builder that could once afford one would call it, is the only car available that disregards sporty pretensions.
The Citroën C6 shares that ideal, for 10% of the cost and is envy-free.
Richard, West Midlands, England
It's the BEST and only 296,500 in the UK.
In Australia this RR will sell for AU$ 1,100,000 !
John, Fremantle, Australia
I enjoyed this article about the Phantom. The sedan is ugly but the two door is more appealing. In my 20's, I was given the then current model Silver Spur to trundle about in for two years by my parents. World's best car- no. World's most fabulous- undoubtedly!
Scott, Edinburgh, UK
Jemery, whats happening? I keep checking this site every day and cry myself to sleep every night, because it hasn't been updated for ages;)
Ernstjan, Groningen, Netherlands
Time was when a man could drive his Rolls through a puddle of filthy sewage splash the urchins and common people who were waiting for their public transport and they would be grateful, doff their caps and curtsey or be thrashed within an inch of their wretched lives..Ah,how times have changed!
Bob, London,
i don't envy it, I just think its ridiculous to be driving around a 6L car with the climate the way it is.
Ashley, Tokyo, Japan
Mr Clarkson,
I just read your article on the Mazda 2 and found it most hilarious. I'm glad you gave the car a verdict of 'excellent', because it is! It's excellent in it's target market. All those people who have left messages saying you didn't test it properly obviously missed the point.
Ade, Manchester, UK
The bit about Stowe corner made me laugh, as it's Top Gear that has really turned the question "How does this car perform in a 120 mile an hour turn on a disused airfield?" into a criterion for buying a car. The only people who really care about this question are car thieves.
Brian, London, UK
Mr. Totnes,
You appear to be bitter about this capatalist thing, I can understand this, as I live in Totnes too.
Mr Harberton, Totnes, UK
Mr. Totnes, my investment partner drives his Rolls on sunny Sundays. He started on food stamps, built a company, sold it, and in my book he's welcome to the fruits of capitalism. I'm no fan of the Rolls, but whether he drives his Ford pickup, or his Rolls, what business is of yours?
Glenn, Tarnseen, USA
Hey Jeremy, what was everyone supposed to do? Stand on the corner, tip their hat, and ask, "Please, sir, may I have some more?"
Charlie, Seattle, USA
Mr. Clarkson, could we have a new article? Please! One about the new Veyron convertible would be nice.
Cheers, Kam
Kam, Naples,
Nice article Jeremy, you say it as it is. I dont really like the car but i love your comments. People being envious is quite normal, we are what we are whether British or not. I recently bought Mazda 2 sport and would not trade it for anything, I love it. So I wont be envy when you pass by.
Ed, London,
Oh thank goodness for the joys of the USA, where wealth and success, are still celebrated without jealousy or distain.
Buy or build what you like, and enjoy.
Yes I would love more money, but good luck to all those who have obtained it. Enjoy your success. Criticism is reserved for the
failed.
Gerald Harris, Chicago, IL, IL
Excellent reading. As an ex-secondary school boy, ex-paratooper now living in Australia, and having built a succesful business, I aspire to owning such a car - and to distance myself from the 'driven-by-envy', 'we're-so-hard-done-by-coz-we're-working-class' types such as Mr Totnes!
andrew, Sydney, Australia
Road Tax...hmmm...I uppose its insurance too, which is pretty good value for money - if it isn't its a rip off ! In NZ, whether you drive a banger or a Bentley, road licences are the same across the board, which is fair enough I think. There are not too many of these beasts around - and most love em
Martin La Grange, Auckland, New Zealand
Its Astounding working class people take such rubbish like this, when they keep the world running, yet get treated with such contempt like this. Capitlism is not fair, if you work hard it doesn't mean you'll make it, very few do. Its amazing that people can get away with saying this stuff these days
David, Totnes, Devon
Being a cattle grazier in Wagga Wagga surrounded by erratic wildlife, I have to ask whether or not a bull-bar comes as standard with the new Phantom. After the Silver Cloud III, the RRs have stayed very boxy looking and I can't help thinking that a bull-bar wouldn't look too out of place.
simon bedak, Wagga Wagga, Australia
Rolls Royce make the best Luxury cars no question of a doubt, end of story. Anyone who does'nt see this is either plain ignorant to what a Rolls is or is insanely jealous of people driveing posh expensive cars. It should be the cars on their own that you should admire and forget whos driving them.
Simon, Omagh, United Kingdom
Richard, Cambridge,
How, exactly, does being rich infringe on others? I buy services from rich people (eg internet, gas) because the service is worth more to me than the money. Both parties have been enriched as a result.
You are confusing currency with wealth. Economics is not a zero sum game.
Andy, Glasgow, UK
The annual road tax for this car in Brazil would be L. 14,825.00 or 5% of the car's value fixed by the local council.
The road tax in Brazil is 4% for local made cars and 5% for imported cars. which reduces each year according to the value of the car fixed br the local councils.
Alistair Montgomery, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Patricia Johnson, Swinton - you took the words right out of my mouth. The most whimsical, insightful, apposite and perspicuous comment I've ever read on these pages.
Mark Shepherd, Lincoln, UK
The Phantom saloon is not the most attractive of vehicles and a convertible/drophead won't make it any better. I've seen a number in the last month on both sides of pond and they really are great clunking cars, although tricked out with all the bells and whistles. An older Rolls or Bentley is nicer.
David Cunard, Los Angeles, United States
Interesting how many comments are about the class bit, not the car. As for bitterness. Is it the pig that makes the sty or the sty that makes the pig. Perhaps if the British rich didn't spend so much time preventing the hoi polloi from being like them they wouldn't engender so much bitterness.
Sarah Folds, Hong Kong,
I thought it was Lady Penelope's Royce from Thunderbirds because it looks like a string puppet's car. Perhaps the people in the bus queue were just revolted by something so ugly bearing the R-R badge. And as for R-R revealing the power of the engine - how vulgar! R-R used to just say "sufficient".
John, Ashford,
OMG, As it seems you are one of those envy guys, who are driving their Fords and think "it is the best car in the world".
Bohos, Buckingham,
I you really want to experience British institutional envy and spitefulness, go and work in another country.
Martin, Loches, France
Money has been defined as a claim on others' labour. If you think about it you can see why this is correct. Being rich *does* impinge on others' lives even if indirectly.
Richard, Cambridge, UK
The new Phantom is the ugliest car to ever adorn the Rolls Royce name plate. I would much rather have a Phantom V. The new Phantom looks like something that came off the set of Dr. Who. It has absolutely no class. Its Germany's revenge on England for winning the WW2.
Jason Holloway, San Diego, CA, USA
Yeah, Americans appreciate fine automobiles and although we would like one, we don't generally hate those who own them. We are much more open to class distinction. Work hard, right time and place, stay out of jail and you too may be able to get a hot car.
Melita B, Wisconsin, USA
Re your item Isa transfer tribulations. I have also applied to transfer an Isa from Bradford & Bingley to Nationwide. This has been going on since the 3rd March. Nationwide have not kept me up to date with the situation and have a useless phone system.
patricia johnson, Swinton, Manchester, England.
Great, but only if the profits stay in the UK and help our balance of payments, Suspect profits go to the parent elsewhere.
As an exercise in Engineering, superb.
As an economic vehicle I wouldn't buy one, but hats off to those who do.
Dave, Chorley,
Alex from London: "the UK has the lowest social mobility in the developed world." But that's the point!! Working hard doesn't take you up the social ladder because the systems prevent it.
Will Duffay, London,
I belive that the rich-poor gap in the uk is simply an outlet that people use to vent thier frustrations about all those things in our society that arent quite right. e.g. Why can supermarkets raise thier prices to make more profits at a time of looming economic hardship? Simple answer, money.
Burt Smith, canterbury, Kent
the UK has the lowest social mobility in the developed world (yes it is lower than in the US and decreasing every decade) so with all this envy you would think us brits would get up and actually work to acquire the things we want instead of sneering at those who are already successful. its sick!
Alex, london, england
the problem with the UK is the City is the only place where people can earn enough money to have the spending power to compete with our cousins across the pond. Americans are materealistic because we can be and if things were priced properly in the UK the brits would be just as much so.
Alex, london, england
As an american in London i have discovered how class oriented and envious you brits truly are and it is astounding. In america hard work and success are held in high regards while here if someone does well they are sneered at. The value system is backwards...huge welfare state anyone?
Alex, london, england
Don't worry, Jeremy, just remember Adam Smith: 'it is not because one man keeps a coach while his neighbour walks afoot that the one is rich and the other poor.' Somehow, the British seem to have forgotten that--and made everyone poorer in the process. In the meantime, hooray for Rolls Royce!
Andrew Baker, Oxford, UK
Interesting how the Brits proof the point JC is trying to make by their very comments while claiming they're not as JC says they are.
JT, Amsterdam, the Netherlands
Actually Mr. Lloyd-Webber or anyone else who has made a bundle on the basis of anything other than pure chance is probably a much sharper investor than any government or managed fund scheme. Or do we think rich people buy cake for the money or lock it up some place? They often reinvest very wisely.
Peter Skold, Stockholm, Sweden
I dont think that people in the UK reject excellence, dole
deliquents have always existed, but the under class is now the middle class, 50 K plus in London is nothing, When the people who caused the sub-prime problem drive past in a Bentley the motivation to do a 9-5 is hard.
steve, Warford, UK
Mr C, Concorde was financed by Wedgy Benn the Thames
barrier by Ken Livingston, Rolls Royce also saved by a socialist government, love the city which drives your cars
but sells everything to overseas peole and lives in tax havens
where they drive the cars you love like that sespit Monaco.
steve, Liverpool, UK
I do think this car is a little 'vulgar'! I am not referring to the price or is ostentatious presence, I am also sure it is exquisitely screwed together. However, it has 'gangsta-rap' written all over it! I am not quite sure what Henry and CS would have approved? But then again, it is a BMW.
Jason Fitzgerald, Delft, Netherlands
40 million in the US can't even afford health insurance? There is more to the story. They are typically young people who choose to spend money elsewhere or those already on the dole. No one is turned away from treatment at any US hospital.
Yes, I do wish I could afford it, but I am not envious.
Ian, Atlanta, usa
If Jeremy Clarkson loves the way the Americans have such an unenviable culture of greed and the élite paying no taxes and taking no personal responsibility, maybe he should go there. In balanced countries like the UK, it is not a person's right to run less fortunate people into the ground.
Graeme Phillips, London, UK
Ah! Jeremy--the old cliches are best, aren't they? It is more than 30 years since I first heard 'the man in a limo' formula. 40 million people in the US can't even afford health insurance. But they are not at all envious!
Dectora, London, UK
Maybe people were hostile just because the thing is so fugly. At my wedding 10 years ago we had a 1958 Bentley - the most beautiful car I've ever been in. But this is not a real Rolls (and sad to say, current 'Bentleys' are just as fugly). Even a 70s Rolls '4 headlight heresy' would be better.
Dave, Sydney, Australia
There's no beauty in these new Rolls Royces, pretty much like their new owner drivers I would hazard a guess. Buy a Bentley.
john bentley, Loule, Portugal
Now you know why the UK keeps voting in GB and his Stalinist cronies.
Get a 1960's Skoda limo and the Think (sic) Tank will love you.
Whilst we are at it why not remove all the white and blue in the Union Jack. Much prettier and fits beautifully with a 60's Skoda. Especially on its wings.
Richard, London,
A society should celebrate success, and encourage it. But it should also despise conspicuous wealth. That' makes it healthy. In my native country, you would be laughed at if you'd drive a rolls.
stan, London,
Wealth envy is alive and well everywhere, even in the USA. Most people have the potential to become rich but never actually achieve it. They remain poor or middle class because they continue to do the things that keep people poor. When I can afford one of those RR cars, I'll take a Bentley instead.
Vince, Spring Hill, Tennessee, USA
As an American who lived in England for a year, I do think we Americans are overly concerned with material wealth and status. Having said that, I don't understand the mentality of many Europeans who want to punish success or penalize hard work. Most poor in the USA are poor because of bad decisions.
Christian, Wilmington, USA
Grief the sheer weight of malicious personal attack on Jeremy kinda proves his point about being Bitter and Twisted with Envy which is trying to hide behind mock moral indignation. Life is short and if one has the millions enjoy them -one can always give to charity as well
D McGregor, St Mawes, UK
Russell - that's wealth envy that is as transparent as a child sulking because "he didn't want to play anyway". Of course - if you had a billion pounds you wouldn't buy anything of luxury - we believe you.
Brett, Tennessee,
Oooo; you are all a touchy lot today aren't you ? Its _only_ a car....
Luke Moorhead, Birkenhead,
Rolls Royces have always been rather vulgar, but they’ve got very much worse in recent years. The one Jeremy describes is so spectacularly ugly that it’s offensive; an eye-bleeding but wonderfully crafted turd. As such, he displays a poverty of taste that the rest of us find inexcusable.
Jon Anderson, Farnham, UK
At the end of the day you're Jezza Clarkson, it doesn't get better than that.
Adam C, Hull,
Jane, Norwich ... somwhere north england ... you were one of those people at the bus stop!! Beggars belief how you, or anybody else for that matter, recognised Clarkson at the wheel.
CA, Lagos, Nigeria
Even in todays market I would rather spend that kind of money on a house with a big fully equipped garage so I can care for my Caterham in the manner it deserves. RR no thanks.
David Ball, Brussels, Belgium
Mark Peterborough. Last time I looked Britain is in Europe.
Therefore we are all living in Europe in this country!
Michael, London, Europe
O Jeremy, wrong again, it's not envy, it's sadness and pity for the mentality of those so insecure they need to be seen in such an ostentatious car. If I were a billionaire, I can promise you I would never feel the need to own such selfish excess. Only the inferior need to be seen to be superior.
Russell, London,
Hilarious and true! But the US - UK difference just means the educational system is better in the UK. Underclass in the US is kept so ignorant that it foolishly thinks it will get that limousine. The better educated (and somewhat less obese) unwashed Brits know well that their lives will not change.
Victor Esparge, Los Angeles, USA
ughh... what a horribly awful looking car..
Looks like you are driving a giant silver brick around.. not to mention the interior.. which is even worse.
Think I'd prefer the minivan..
MK, AU,
Could be the people you saw just cant stand you!!
Jane, Norwich,
Mr. Martin Carroll hits the nail on the head!
David Russell, Sheffield, UK
It could just be that the guy in the beat - up van saw who was behind the wheel of the Rolls.....
martin carroll, deal, England
This car is simply fabulous I adore it and having been lucky enough to have driven a phantom saloon I can only look forward to the opportunity of driving this more stylish sibling
Martin Moore, wakefield, united kingdom
Jeremy! Shocking! for once I agree with you!
Peter, London,
having a bentley arnage T, a Range Rover (for the dogs) and an old XJS convertible I thought the Phantom was too pompous - then I drove one and it was love ..... it's all a Royce should be ... and when I drive up to any hotel the car is welcomed like an old friend,she will be with me till I die ...
Mark, Hong Kong,
To Paul who commented on here about straddling lanes. If everybody just filled all the lanes and filtered at the last minute in turn, the whole thing would be fair. This english habit of forming a 1 mile single queue on three lanes of motorway simply invites people to queue jump!
Paulo, Milton Keynes,
A lovely car, I see a neighbour's RR Phantom Coupe drive past often enough. Lancashire folk, don't give a second glance. Up here the attitude is different, that Roller may have put food on the table for someone, it was not built by 'slave-labour' after all.
Why do multi-billionairs drive sheds?
Alastair Carnegie, Colne, Lancashire
Mark of Peterborough, Great Britain is perfectly acceptable. The 'Great' in question is a geographical term not a qualitative one. It's not a boast, though people wrongly talk about 'putting the great into Britain'. It's there to differentiate between Bretagne and Grande Bretagne.
David, stockholm, sweden
Webber's millions and Richard's cheekbones don't take affordable housing from the reach of locals so I disagree with the analogy, despite wanting to take a Black &D to one of them. Isn't the raison d'etre of the RR to show the hoi poloi the driver is better than them? What reaction did you expect?
Derek Smith, Brighton, UK
I have had 2 Peugot Partners. The 1st 1.9 diesel the 2nd -
2 years later 1.6 diesel (this is 30kph faster). Both guranteed for 2 years. The 1st one never had the bonnet opened except for the 10.000 km servicing. The 2nd one likewise and it will be changed for another one in december. Hard to beat.
m wilson, bidache, france
When the van blocked you, were you going down the outside lane where two lanes go into one ?. This winds me up whether you are in a rolls or a skoda. Just plain bad manners.
Paul , Chipping Sodbury,
If Rolls-Royce took Lady Penelope's lead and have rocket launchers fitted as standard, then that would solve both traffic issues as well as small mindedness pretty definitively, I would imagine.
I always smile when I see the new Rolls, it is a must have and thankfully adds some individuality.
Alvis London, LONDON,
About the lorry driver and his kind......one thought comes to mind....let them eat cake......!
Karim, Geneva,
What happened to the beauty and elegance of the Rolls? That thing has all the lightness and beauty of a Soviet tank.
Lisa, Oxford,
The new Rollers are brash and in-your-face. They are designed to provoke a reaction, so Jeremy should not be suprised when this happens. It's rather like the American episode of Top Gear, when he and his colleagues daubed their cars with inflammatory slogans and got attacked by rednecks.
Ben Garside, Loughborough, UK
Maybe, in your mind, displeasure shown at a Rolls-Royce and its driver MUST be envy by one person of another. However, could the target of such displeasure be impersonal? Could the ill-feeling be with a system where ownership of an R-R is viewed as the pinnacle of success?
Is this impossible?
Simon Stephenson, Windermere, UK
You cant have anything 'nice' these days as there is always someone who will vandalise or steal it.
This is a sad bitter country!
Andrew, Wakefield,
Forget the Phantom. You and I both know, Jeremy, that the Jaguar XJ has a better ride than any Rolls and corners so beautifully it makes the Rolls feel like a kayak in a whirlpool.
Bill Harding, York,
Jeremy I love you :)
Your summing up of England (I wont say great britain because there is nothing great about it) is the reason I left and now live in Europe. The Brits are such a sad bunch really.
Mark, Peterborough, UK
"The Folgers Effect" is rampant here. Serve mud tasting, instant coffee at the end of a sumptuous banquet - and everyone believes the coffee was bliss.
Suggest, put a Lada badge on this latest Walter Mitty on wheels.
Then see if the tester excuses its 29,000 faults.
Leigh Vernier, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
That dash is hidious. I'll take the back seat. Home James.
Peter, Puckette,
I'm very surprised that a Rolls received such a disrespectful reaction. I thought it was understood that while it was acceptable for the lower orders to hurl epithets, rocks and similar at Ferraris and Porsches (and compulsory at BMWs), the Rolls - and to a certain extent the Bentley - was exempt.
Michael, Pittsburgh, USA
The important question is could the hamster see over the dashboard while reaching the pedals?
Phil Medway, Singapore, Singapore
Did that proposal mention what the poor are supposed to do for housing when the owners are using their vacation homes? Or ask how many of those second homes are actually in places with poor people?
Michael, Pueblo, Colorado, US
Rolls Royce is a boring car made for sad people. Happy people drive Porsches!
Simon, london, uk
When Mr. Clarkson reviewed the Rolls Royce Phantom last year Mrs. Clarkson remarked on its vulgarity, ugliness and the lack of welcome it had in her driveway. I agreed.
Has she changed her mind?
Pinky, doncaster,
There are only 2 causes for hatred: fear & envy; of the two, envy is the most implacable.
Only the most foolish precipitate it by flaunting their assets, particularly in this deteriorating economic climate; best to keep a low profile.
Dr Andris Lielmanis, Brampton , Canada
I saw a current RR on my way back from Brighton today - gosh, it did make me smile! What a Behemoth, a gargantuan temple to bling, as classy as Cribs on MTV and as much fun to watch. I sped by on my motorbike having as much fun, but happy to see someone flaunting it, baby- you can't take it with ya!
Kim, London,
Ain't this the truth! Britain is the ENVY capital of the world! Anyone with a brand new Mercedes, BMW or an Aston Martin, etc. know only too well just how envy feels on the road, with battered cars aiming straight for them just so they can scratch their alloys on the kerb when avoiding the nutters!
John Cahill, Stevenage, UK
"Plus, these feelings are toward business men not successful scientists or artists."
Ah yes because they don't hate you until they have found out what your occupation is... oh no wait yes they do.
JC, I don't want a Rolls and will never have one. Nonetheless I enjoyed reading the review immensely.
Matthew, Cardiff,
"...alarming insight into the bitterness of Britain’s obese and stupid underclass." This statement by JC erroneously equates low socioeconomic class with stupidity and ill health, implying in the process that the latter factors cause the former, when, I contend, the reverse is more often the case.
Samuel Waumsley, Cape Town,
Funny how Clarkson uses America as an example we should strive for in this example and yet i can see him doing the opposite in the near future. Along the lines of "us Brits are a no nonsense bunch"
Plus, these feelings are toward business men not successful scientists or artists. Think about why..
John Brigg, Leeds,
Perhaps the van man was actually blocking JC and not the car as such? Not everyone admires his particular style of snobbery.
ian brown, Stony Stratford, UK
Great achievements rarely need utility to justify them - think of the Great Pyramids of Giza or the Apollo moon landings. Only morons would argue that these are a waste of money ?
The Phantom is truly a magnificent car and credit crunch or not the world is a better place for having it.
Joe, Reading, UK
Re John P's point;
I drove BMWs for years and then switched to a Porsche Boxster. The effect was dramatic - people let you out of side turnings, they didn't speed up/slow down to close up gaps etc. , a completely different experience. Of course driving a real Porsche (911) might give envy.
Colin, London,
Since I only know these cars from books, magazines and articles like this one, I can only assume Jeremy is going straigh to the point about this car. Is not about measurable things like speed, power and other things. Is about the way the car makes you feel. Nothing is more elegant than a Rolls.
Herbert Harada, São Paulo, Brasil
Long may you live Jeremy. Great article.
John , Perth, Australia
Well said Mr Clarkson. People like the lorry driver you mentioned are just small minded, petty and not worth bothering with. You have something they want and they can't get it, that's not your fault. Let them stew in their own bitterness, it is nothing short of what they deserve.
Stay Fab Mr C xx
Sarah Williamson, Carrickfergus, County Antrim, Northern Ireland
Perhaps each gear change wouldn't have taken a full second if Jeremy had bothered to try and push the Sport-button? I still prefer a Bentley - much cooler
Thomas, Beijing, China
The politics of envy are sad, very sad indeed. It is not much better here in Australia either. We should celebrate hard work and achievement not envy, despise and tax anyone who achieves something in this life out of existence.
CS, Sydney, Australia
Good article,,and all true. I do wonder about the comments about fat people though. Have you looked in the mirror recently Jeremy?
JohnL, Melbourne, Australia
Zzzz...
Joe, New York, US
On form as ever apart from one minor quibble - have you seen Cliff Richard lately ?
Marc, Liverpool, UK
It's not envy, I just don't like it. Too chunky. Used to get the same bad vibes in the UK when driving a Porsche - though never in an old one (356).
John Polenski, Laguna Beach, US
Clarkson - You'd make a great American. You understand that the gov't is not there to provide for you, but to take things away from you and make your life harder. Britain is a great country but won't be for long if the view that hard work is rewarded with achievement have left the population.
JT, Austin, TX, USA
I hope it doesn't produce 2377g/km of CO (carbon monoxide), I assume that is actually CO2 377 g/km.
Superbly written article otherwise.
Arthur, Exeter, England