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What is it with England football managers and specs? First we had Sven-Göran Eriksson with his rimless wonders, and now Fabio Capello is the “face” of a new made-in-Italy eyewear collection by ZERORH+, which arrives at Boots this week. Unlike Sven, Fabio says he favours lots of different styles of glasses: “I buy about seven pairs of glasses a year so that I can wear different ones to match my mood.” The ones he sports in the publicity pic have full frames in blue, which we hope is not an indication of the mood to be induced by future England performances. They are also long and thin and oblong, which, according to the young lady who served me in Dollond & Aitchison, is right on trend.
So what was the Mutton doing in an opticians? Well, after finding that these days I need to keep books at arm's length to make sense of them, I suppose it's time to admit that I am not going to become a fighter-pilot after all, and that I may need help in the focusing department.
Thus it was that I found myself with my head clamped in a strange white bowl like something out of Star Wars, trying to spot flashes of white light. This tests peripheral vision, while the rest of the routine, involving torches and reading-test cards, checks out the health of your optic nerves and all manner of other stuff. The upshot of this ophthalmic MoT was that I do indeed need specs for reading, and would I like to choose a pair of frames downstairs?
And that's where the fun starts. Just about every fashion label has its own range of optical frames, with more coming on line all the time. In August, a cute pair of folding metal reading glasses arrives care of Montblanc, while in October, Bottega Veneta delivers its first collection of eyewear, made from luxury materials such as ultra-light, hypo-allergenic titanium, combined with natural horn. Blimey.
In the showroom, I scanned the display cases. Gone are the little round shapes that make me look like an Indiana Jones villain. Gone are the big Elvis Costello numbers. Gone are curvy ovals, aviators, wraparounds. Now the look is thin and oblong with fine frames, either all the way round, or across the top (half), or rimless, like Sven's. I chose a pair of half-frames in black by Police, a brand once promoted by an England skipper from Leytonstone, who served under Sven. They made me look like some sort of rigorous architect.
I asked my helper what was fashionable. Thicker side arms, she said. Hooray, mine had these! Just out of interest, what about rimless? They have become a classic, she said, and were indeed introduced by the former England manager. When Sven was “at his best”, she said, they did sell more frameless models. Maybe there will be a run on Capello blue now.
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