1. The furore surrounding the two simple anatomical drawings in the FPA booklet Let's Grow with Nisha and Joe (www.fpa.org.uk ) shows that many parents avoid telling their children what certain parts of their anatomy are called.

2. A 1997 study by the psychologist and author Daphne de Marneffe found that although 96 per cent of boys aged between 15 and 36 months had been taught the word penis, only 52 per cent of girls had been given a specific name for their genitals. And 40 per cent of girls were given no word at all.

3. According to the FPA, children up to the age of 4 should be given the correct names for all their body parts. (Any child who can say “hippopotamus” can manage “testicles”.)

4. And FPA guidelines suggest that children aged 4-8 should know the basics of conception, pregnancy and birth. By 9 they should be fully briefed on puberty.

5. You know your child better than anyone so you are the best person to decide an appropriate age, but children shouldn't be left to structure their own education. “She'll ask about it when she is ready to learn” is often a cop-out because squeamish parents can subconsciously squash opportunities for the subject to arise.

6. Your main goal is to equip your child with the right vocabulary and give him or her permission to talk openly and ask questions.

7. Trips to the farm or visits to pregnant friends are a good starting point. Celebrities are often useful in terms of illustrating alternative family structures.

8. Reading books makes it easy. Mummy Laid an Egg, by Babette Cole, is funny, but essentially factual. How Did I Begin? by Mick Manning and Brita Granström, and It's Not the Stork, by Robie H. Harris, are better for kids aged 6-plus. And Tango Makes Three, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson, is the cute, true story of two gay penguins in the New York Zoo and baby Tango (en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/And_Tango_ Makes_Three ).

9. For you, there is Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask), by Justin Richardson MD and Mark A Schuster MD, PhD.

10. Don't forget, young children are completely literal. They don't understand metaphor. Tell a child to “keep your eye on the ball” and he will stick the ball to his eye. Tell a child “don't touch or it will fall off” and you should start saving for his therapy.

SUZI GODSON

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