Vincent Crump
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If there really is a heaven, let it be a pub garden on a summer’s day, ideally with a tinkling trout stream, some shady apple trees and the buzz of convivial conversation.
Here’s our countdown of 10 classics across Britain and Ireland – the sort of places where you’ll pop in for a quick one and find yourself, quite accidentally, settling down for the whole day.
SQUARE & COMPASS
Worth Matravers, Dorset The Jurassic Coast makes something of a speciality of seaside pub gardens. The Anchor at Seatown and the Smugglers Inn at Osmington Mills are good, but for off-the-map eccentricity, the Square & Compass is better.
Just getting there is exciting – via a deadend lane through the Purbeck marble workings, where you can still see stonecutters in their roadside shacks, fettling away as they’ve done for centuries. The Square & Compass was the quarrymen’s local, a whitewashed tavern with beer and cider straight from the cask, and its own homespun fossil museum, chipped from the limestone cliffs by the Newman family, landlords here for 101 years.
The sunny garden is the real find, though, with marauding poultry and vast views that vault the village rooftops to the sea. It is staked out with strange bits of sculpture, leftovers from the pub’s midsummer stone-carving festival, and every table is a mini Stonehenge.
01929 439229
THE SPANIARDS INN
Hampstead Heath, London The Spanish ambassador had it built as his pleasure grounds, Dick Turpin used it as a lookout, and John Keats wrote Ode to a Nightingale there. The garden at the Spaniards is full of shaggy-dog stories.
Marooned on Hampstead Heath, this is as close as you’ll find to a country hostelry in the capital. Indoors: creaky floors, Harveys ale and more ancient beams than the Lighthouse of Alexandria. Outdoors: a blossomy terrace, an outdoor bar, a chicken coop for kids to coo over and strolling space among the hop-hung arbours (in case you have one glass too many and don’t fancy yomping over the heath to Kenwood House).
There are weekend barbecues and bank-holiday spit roasts, and if you’ve brought your own shaggy dog, even a “pooch wash”, where you can shampoo the schnauzer before wetting your whistle.
Spaniards Road, London NW3; 020 8731 8406
THE TROUT AT TADPOLE BRIDGE
Buckland Marsh, Oxfordshire It feels somehow wrong to arrive at the Trout by car – especially once you’ve installed yourself at a teak table beside the infant Thames, with narrow boats sliding by and punts slaloming into the pub’s private moorings.
Cast adrift in Wind in the Willows country, the inn has been given a makeover by new landlords Gareth and Helen Pugh, with lots of scrubbed slate and fresh flowers indoors, and rather posh nosh such as foie gras wrapped in prosciutto. But it’s not pretentious: proper locals pop in for a pint, and there are sometimes junior Pughs playing footie in the garden – where the apple trees come in handy for stocking the dessert menu.
If you fancy a float, the Trout can arrange a crewed gondola – with champagne picnic, naturally.
Doubles from £110, B&B; 01367 870382, www.trout-inn.co.uk
THE GROES INN
Ty’n-y-Groes, Gwynedd Dawn Humphreys’s spick-and-span inn hunkers down among the lumpy Snowdonian foothills behind Conwy Bay, with sunsets on tap and a frieze of mountains for a backdrop. The setting doesn’t really need horticultural help, but she’s gone the extra mile, with barrels of exploding pink hydrangeas on the terrace out front and cottagey lawns behind, lined with geraniums, buddleias and roses.
In summer, there is free-flowing Pimm’s and homemade cinnamon-and-honey ice cream. And if you can’t leave that view behind, the Groes has 14 super rooms, several with balconies commanding the hills.
Doubles from £103, B&B (£130 with view); 01492 650545, www.groesinn.com
THE LADE INN
Kilmahog, Stirling Wedged under the skirts of Ben Ledi, loftiest of the Trossachs, the Lade is a family affair. Patriarch Frank Park is “chief bar-propper”, his son Stephen (ex-Ritz hotel) cooks the haggis, and son-in-law Fred is in charge of beer-tasting – he also runs the adjacent real-ale shop, which stocks 100 Scottish drops, including organic microbrews Way Lade, Lade Back and the knee-wobbling Lade Out.
Mum Rita is the gardening guru and has embellished the marvellous mountainside setting with a firework display of fuchsias, petunias, lobelias and geraniums, variously erupting from window boxes, tubs and flowerbeds. Just now, her garden is alive with cherry blossom and tadpoles (there are three separate ponds), but everyone’s favourite corner is the bird-feeding station, planted with reeds and teasels to attract greenfinches, swallows and tits – even a family of greater-spotted woodpeckers. Take your camera.
01877 330152, www.theladeinn.com
THE BRAZEN HEAD
Dublin Ireland doesn’t much go for pub gardens, maybe because of all that “soft” Irish weather. A cobbled courtyard offers much better runoff, and here’s a classic – a sunken space contained between the skewwhiff walls and crooked windows of the oldest alehouse in Ireland (so they say, anyway). A 10-minute walk upriver from Temple Bar, the Brazen Head dates to 1198 and is populated by a winning mix of grizzled old-timers, louche students and lost tourists. Live bands rock out, the craic is mighty and everyone spills out into the yard, with its beer-barrel tables, “medieval fire lamps”, cobblestone floor and creeping ivy.
00 353 1 677 9549, www.brazenhead.com
THE HORSESHOE HOTEL
Egton Bridge, North Yorkshire For many, the Horseshoe is the penultimate stop on the Coast to Coast Walk – and you couldn’t be blamed for abandoning the trek here, with just 17 miles to go.
A classic streamside local, the inn is tucked into a hidden hem of the North York Moors and is reassuringly old-fashioned. There’s Black Sheep on hand pump and Whitby fish pie in Yorkshire portions; dogs are allowed in the bar, but not children.
This doesn’t matter, because in summer you’ll be in the sylvan garden, with its 100ft sequoias and lawns that gambol down to the chittering River Esk, complete with coffin-shaped stepping stones, perfect for youngsters “accidentally” to push each other off.
Doubles from £50, B&B; 01947 895245, www.thehorseshoehotel.co.uk
THE FLEECE INN
Bretforton, Worcestershire This atmospheric black-and-white inn dates back to the days when a farm was a long house and a barn was a byre. The Byrd family lived here with their beasts in Chaucer’s day, and when they finally handed it over to the National Trust in 1977, it looked much the same, minus manure. That means priceless Stuart pewter, a murderous array of spears in the inglenook and “witch’s marks” on the hearth to scare off nonalcoholic spirits.
The garden is behind the old farmhouse, and it’s a cracker: a miniature orchard of antique apple varieties, where you can sup homemade cider beside the thatched crook barn – so picturesque that people regularly get married in it. On summer weekends you can hardly move for hog roasts and morris dancers; and on May 26-27, the Vale of Evesham British Asparagus Festival moves in, featuring a farmers’ market, ye olde crafts, and asparagus gastronomy (more spears).
Doubles £90, B&B; 01386 831173, www.thefleeceinn.co.uk
THE LORD NELSON
Burnham Thorpe, Norfolk This must be the most unspoilt theme pub in Britain. In the village where Nelson was born, and 120 years older, it is stacked to the gunnels with prints and ephemera, and serves a secret-recipe tipple called Nelson’s Blood, inspired by the barrel in which the admiral’s corpse returned to Blighty. But all this doesn’t dent the pub’s charm. There’s a serving hatch instead of a bar, old settles and Woodforde’s Wherry tapped from the cask – and a grassy garden big enough to stage a full-scale reenactment of Trafalgar, with tree-shaded tables and a mini assault course for kids.
01328 738241, www.nelsonslocal.co.uk
THE DRUID INN
Birchover, Derbyshire Okay, so this one’s a bit of a cheat. It’s not so much a garden as a patio with a rockery. But what a rockery.
Enigmatically positioned among Peak District pastures pimpled with stone circles and monoliths, the Druid is run by chef-patron-brothers Michael and Bryan Thompson, whose brilliant British food comes newly garnished with a Michelin Bib Gourmand – their steak-and-stilton sandwich has won prizes. Scoff that on the flowerpot-strewn terrace, then scamper up the jungly pathway behind the pub to conquer Rowtor Rocks. This is top fun: a knot of gritstone pinnacles fashioned into a Flintstones-style adventure playground by a barmy 17th-century aristocrat. Some of its carvings date back further: maybe to the Druids themselves. There are hermit caves and rock-hewn thrones where you can perch awhile and let your imagination fly over the Peakland hills unfurling below.
01629 650302, www.thedruidinn.co.uk
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Geographically, not politically, is Ireland included as one of British Isles. Had Scandinavia created a political state and one country pulled out, geographically that country is still Scandinavian. Same applies with Ireland.
Michael Marian, Gibraltar, Gibraltar
Druid's Inn does have a nice setting, but I thought the food was not quite up to the billing.
Ellen, New York, New York, US
Spot on, number 1 - the Square & Compass. Great pint there after the magnificent walk from the village out to the coastal path. There's a strange, isolated old church out there too.
Ditto on Spaniard's crush. As a tourist, I had the garden alone on a sunny spring Tuesday. Cheers.
Tom, Atlanta, usa
Martin, you should know from your geography lessons at primary school that Britain consists of the two kingdoms of England and Scotland and the principality of Wales. Dublin has not been linked to England since 1922 and has no desire to be- it is not dissimilar to saying that London is in France.
Sinead O'Carroll, Windsor,
Eager to pay a visit !!!
Sherry, China,
Whatever you do - avoid the food at the Spaniards. I've never seen so many uneaten plates of food or such vile looking food. Also, be prepared to queue five deep at the bar - on bank holidays there's usually only two people serving. But it is a fantastically old pub in a good setting.
Nicky, London, UK
The Square and Compass is unique, a great British Pub. If you are ever in Dorset, pay a visit, you will not be disappointed. I'm lucky enough to live close enough to visit whenever.
Also, if you are in the area, the Scott Arms in Kingston is worth a visit. Nice garden, good food.
Sam, Poole, UK
I think Martin is confusing the British Isles (which includes the Republic) with the United Kingdom of Great Britain (which does not).
Freddie, Madrid,
Dublin is in IRELAND, not Britain - either geographically or politically. Do you have no subeditors on this paper? Or do you just not care?
E Kavanagh, Dublin, Ireland
Neither Dublin or Ireland have ever been a part of the island of Britain. That is both geographically impossible, and politically untrue. I can't believe I've just read that statement.
Mike, Durham, Britain
Dublin, Ireland, has always been part of "Britain", which is a geographical area including the United Kingdom and Ireland etc. The UK of GB and NI, on the other hand, is a political entity, comprising the largest of the islands which consitute "Britain", plus a part of the next largest.
Martin, Newmarket, Suffolk
The Brazen head is in Dublin ,Ireland which is not part of 'Britain'.
ruairi, castlederg, ireland
Spaniards Inn?? This is not a pub because you can't get a beer!!!!! 50 odd mins and thats on a rainy day
Grant, London, England
Square & Compass via a deadend lane through the Purbeck marble workings? No. Depending which way you approached, go past the pub, either go right at the junction by it and up the hill towards the big quarry, Kingston and Corfe Castle, or turn left towards Swanage. Super place.
Peter T, Godalming,
Re: Britain's best pub gardens. With regards to The Brazen Head, since when was Dublin, Ireland part of Britain?
Come on Times, you can do better than this. I suspect our Irish brethryn might be "politely" emailing you in droves...
Graeme, Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia